After My Storm

Ask me if I remember when it started I couldn’t tell you I just found myself in the middle of harsh wether rain sleet and black snow 400 miles away Scotland Glasgow

That’s where my heart was that was my comfort zone that was ment tobe home

Now there’s no more rain pain or black snow just me here on my own
Where do I go now ? Get on with my life

My life was you now you’ve walked away leaving confused in a daze wondering if you really loved me or was it a game it must of been cos you always win

All I say is my love for you will always last and I think of great times in our past but moments like that will stay in my heart

Silently suffering

Hi I started writing this blog for a few reasons one being the person who this whole blog seems to be about also writes on here . Two being I can say what I want say the unsayable and also to vent what I can’t say in everyday life but I feel iv come to the end of my journey on this bus of unhappiness . The 3rd of may 2013 maryhill rd Glasgow was the last time I kissed hugged touched you I waited 5months 5months of going to the gym I gave up drinking I changed myself into the guy u wanted me tobe so I thought we both did .and we said we would try our very best and the first upset and you was out the door it was like carrot and stick game you fooled me again not cos your smart it’s cos I wanted to believe you so I went through the pain again cos I had choice my heart wouldn’t let me leave it still won’t but I’m leaving with or without it I waited night after night day after day waiting for you on broken heart lane and I’m feeling silly cos I’m sure you’ve moved on but I’m still here wanting you I’m facing the fact you will never come bk and if I’m real I don’t want you to cos the person fell in love with isn’t you them few months of love you gave me won’t ever be forgotten but came at a big cost so now I make music late at night why do I do this cos it reminds me of you ? Anyway my bus is here now so until the next time or maybe not x

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I Wonder What If

I Wonder if I’ll ever see you again see your smile kiss your lips caress your body and feel your hips

I Wonder What if we stuck at it would we be happy in our own romantic bless where everyday is sunny and ended with a kiss

I Wonder What if you was my one and only chance of happiness

I Wonder if you sit there as I do over thinking things through wondering if you called what I’d say to you

I Wonder What you will do next stay in Glasgow or move to London where your memories are kept

I Wonder if you will ever miss me the guy you said you loved more then anyone you had been with before

I Wonder What guy you’ll get with next will he be in music my guess is yes wil he be from London maybe an old flame you could not forget

I Wonder if you ever loved me at times just by the way you can go from loveable to evil in a blink of an eye and shut yourself away from me without a real reason why

I Wonder If I’ll ever get to tell you how much you mean to me I wonder if I’ll ever sit on your settee watching telly holding your hand like we did that last saturday if only I could back to that weekend go back to that day I would never of made plans to leave you again

I Wonder What I’ll do if I never hear from you will I be stuck in this fixation Will I love again will I have to wait till someone comes into my world to make my life worthwhile

I Wonder If you will ever love me again

Thanks for nothing

One day you will see the real me the one you rejected happy and care free with someone who truly loves me and the first thing you will think is that could of been me

I remember telling you something about my dad and you said ok can I go now that hurt me more then you will ever know

I sent you flowers pink ones cos I no u love pink things when I had no money it toke u 4 days to say something about them and the msg started with
I’m not being ungreatful …you were being ungreatful

I remember having to travel 400miles to see you Cos you would not pick up your phone and you left me knocking
On your I was there for love not war

I remember u saying I was not romantic so I tried to be I payed off the ring and bought it to your house cos I wanted you to have it and you called the police when all I was doing was trying one last time before admitting defeat

That day my trust for you died 6 months later you send me a text that makes me smile it made me think why now and even tho I was mad with you my heart was so alive with the thought of holding you again.

We talked but you never wanted to come to see me why cos you never intended on seeing me again you just wanted closure

And my feels didn’t matter they never have now at night I sit and ask myself what did I do that was so wrong

I was a very big improvement from the guy you knew before I was in the best shape I have ever been you could see that mind body and soul

The last time we spoke I let my anger do the talking and I’m not sorry you needed tobe told and i would do it again

You reenter my life with your promiss’s and your lies of how life
Could be so good would be so good
You re-lit the light of my dreams you told me things I had dreamed of I thought my dream had come true

When you came bk but it was to do what I don’t no that’s what I ask myself every night

A Chain of Very Fortunate Events

rhymesalot

Homeward bound, a cloudy sky an unfamiliar cobbled street

Silence surrounds the many blank faces guarded by rushing feet

Fading sunlight shaded a forgotten old brick doorway

When a sudden squall and bolt of light brightened that gloomy day

 ~

A twist of fate, strangers meet to escape the pending drench

Glances are avoided, awkward silence used as defense

Then nervous words about weather answered with a smile

Glowing cheeks made me wish for the rain to stay awhile

 ~

We shared stories of our lives, some laughs and some tears

Our hands shared pockets to ward off chill and our many fears

Time flew, the storm had passed yet we noticed none

Matted hair and soggy feet we splashed into the long set sun

 ~

 Awkward silence once again, I truly felt ashamed

Blissful hours past and we never shared our names

Blushing, I asked hers and she responded…

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I should of walked like I did the first time

How the hell can I not be enough for you when u talk of ex’s who steal from you cheat on you and walked out on you but instead you perfer to chase them down and call them great friends when all they do is pick up the phone to you I did that and a lot more beside but I get no gratitude no looks of pride when iv done more to get close to then any other guy it seems to me that you like to chase and dream of what could be I dreamed with you and tried to bring that dream closer within our reach then all you did was push me away and reject me I should of been like the rest and just walked away and when you give chase I’d run away lock my door and call the police like you did that day. I’ll never understand why you did that or thought of me that way all I’ll say is I hope your happy now 42years old no kids no boyfriend just u the cat and your council house hideaway . So enjoy chasing who ever is giving gd vibes and stay away from me and my kind cos people like me go the extra miles and people like you can’t even pick up the phone to say hi
So crack on with your life and all your Ex’s off Facebook and your one night stands cos I don’t care
I’m moving on man

(42year old teenager)
To the women made me think I was worthless